Girls in Pearls.

 Women of the world! 

Do yourself a favor and put on every pearl you own at the same time. Drape them one after the other shamelessly. Wear as many accessories as you'd like and pair them with any outfit you'd like. And if anyone has the audacity to ask you what you are wearing, please feel free to answer "Whatever the fuck I feel like" and if that is to colorful for you or you feel you may need more explanation, answer "Because I am a Woman and I am ______" (beautiful, fabulous, powerful, amazing, lovely, flawless).

If it's not working for you, if it doesn't make you feel confident, change it. Change the whole damn look until you look in the mirror and can't help but think "damnnnn". And I don't mean perfection, because let's face it, everything they say about it is true. I'm tired of women, myself included, looking in the mirror and thinking "this is as good as it's gonna get". False, you are fucking awesome and every little thing you put on your body, from your eyeliner to sweatpants that are 2 sizes too big, is awesome by association. 

Too often, I see the possibilities that come with being a girl as pressure. 

Too often, I think I have to wear the perfect color nail polish to match an outfit, when really it's just awesome that the tips of my fingers can be any color I can dream of. 

Too often, I worry about getting my bangs cut just right, when really I live in a world with infinite hair options. Have you been on Pinterest? How in the world can I justify worrying about something that, by definition, is limitless? The worst hair day could lead to the best, new, bold, hairdo, cut or color choice.  

Too often, I feel like I can't wear that dress, because my hair isn't straightened or those jeans because the rain jacket I have to wear will make my whole outfit look baggy. Yes, I realize this all sounds insane, but I think its normal to make rules and standards for ourselves. The other day I told my cousin that I couldn't pull off a horizontal striped dress while I was currently wearing a horizontally striped shirt. I looked down at my own t-shirt and thought "really, Kate?". Since when did I stop playing dress up and start making blatantly ridiculous boundaries about what is okay for me to wear? 

Yea, fuck that. 

Story time: Probably close to 10 years ago, I bought (okay, my mom bought) a very expensive leather jacket from Buckle right when it first opened, but before leather jackets made their revival. So pretty much this jacket, that I loved from the moment I saw it, just sat in my closet because I had all these ideas that I wasn't edgy enough to pull it off, or I didn't have the right outfit to match. Every time I worked up the nerve to wear it out, someone would make a comment and I was extremely sensitive, even when someone would just point out the fact that I was wearing a leather jacket. I would take it off quickly after it made an entrance. My own insecurities are such a kill joy.

It wasn't until literally EVERYONE was wearing leather that I was comfortable enough to rock what I had been trying on over and over for years. 

But now, 3+ years later I am still rocking this leather jacket. I've had it for 10 years and I guarantee I will be actually wearing it for another 10. It taught me such a valuable lesson. That being, if something makes me feel good, I'm not going to let anyone, especially myself, change that happiness.  

That being said, we need to stop judging people for wearing platform heels to Starbucks or tattooing their whole bodies or piercing more than just their ears or wearing turtlenecks and long denim skirts. People make decisions about what to put on their bodies every day and I think they pick and choose based on who they are or what makes them feel good. I wish we lived in a world that wasn't made up of other peoples' opinions, but the truth is other peoples nasty looks and words can stunt or even cripple a persons unique style. Just because it doesn't make you happy, doesn't give you the right to take away someone else's happiness. My point being, don't be the person that makes that makes someone feel like they should take off their leather jacket. It's just an object on a human being that should not be objectively critiqued. 

Be who you are, because you are fucking beautiful.

 -that one girl. 

"She is unstoppable"

Pearl by Katy Perry

Before Katy sold her artistic soul to make more money. I swear if I hear one more artist tell me "I just want to make people dance with my next album" I'm gonna barf all over the place. 

Motel 6 kind of has a point..

The whole "we'll leave the light on for you" is completely underestimated. I hate that it belongs to some shitty ass motel that breeds cockroaches in the walls. 

Nothing says home to me the same way that a lit porch light does at some ungodly hour. It has this gentle way of saying: Someone thought of you- you belong here and even though it's dark and quiet inside and we all went to bed- we kept the house awake to greet you and even though you can't ring the bell and have a proper greeting, you won't struggle to find the right key and unlock the door. 

I seem to be in a long standing transition period. I have two homes. One I was born into and my heart will never leave and another that looks like a small pile of building blocks, but feels like a castle. Both are filled with people who leave a parking spot open and the light on, even though I can change my mind on a whim and may or may not be coming home at all. 

I took this picture at 3am. I can see my dad doing his regular security check around our house and very intentionally turning off all the lights, except the one for me. My parents may chat about how they worry about me driving at this time a night, but they don't know how easy it is for me to always find my way home.

Story within the story [inception story]:

As a bonus. my irrational fear of the coyotes that live next to my parents home is more easily conquered when the lights are on. I don't have to pep-talk myself to get out of the car for as long. For years and years, I was telling my parents that animals lived on the adjacent property. I've seen countless rodents, deer and the same creepy beady-eyed coyotes over and over without anyone believing that I was seeing them (made me feel crazy for the better part of a year). Even when I hit a deer right outside our neighborhood, my mother thought I was full of it. To be fair, I was raised in a very residential area and this tiny forest seems to be the only breeding area in town.   

3am and the surrounding hours is no longer an unusual time for me. Between my job and school and some serious sleep anxiety- I seem to be up in the wee hours of the morning, more often than not. I do appreciate my personal time and to be honest I get a lot done. I feel most creative and motivated between midnight and 4, but after a bad shift or bad dream, it's not like you can just phone a friend. I catch myself drafting texts I can't send and reaching for human connection on social media, which can't be healthy. When my mind is racing, it would be nice to be able to connect, but most people would think I was a completely out of mind if I just call them for a chat at 2 'o' clock in the morning and waking the bear that sleeps in my bed is also just as cruel.

Oh, but the bear did me proud over the holidays. The whole "leaving on of the lights" is exponentially increased over the holidays, probably because there are SO MANY MORE lights to be left on! If Christmas lights don't make you tear up, I feel sorry for you, because you my friend are missing the point. Coming home to this after getting my ass handed to me at work and opening the door to find the love of my life snoozing on the couch, felt more like coming home for Christmas than any carol could ever describe. 

So, when the world is quiet and I finally reach where I'm meant to be, I hear someone deciding to switch on the light for me. If you can't be the light that greets your family at the door, I encourage you to "waste" the electricity to leave the beacon on. If you are ever alone and come home to a nightlight, or even better, someone you love sleeping on a piece of furniture that is not a bed, don't see it as it is, see that someone or something waited up, just for you.

loving the light -that one girl 

"And if you say we'll be alright
I'll follow you into the light.."

I've listened to this song so very many times when driving between my two homes.